The Search For Inspiration
by Chrissy Sky
Summary: The boys are tired of the same boring plots and are willing to go to any extent especially Heero to get some inspiration. HumorParody. Yaoi. Discontinued due to lack of interest.
1. Maze

=*=The Search for Inspiration=*=

By: Chrissy Sky ( chrissy_sky92251@yahoo.com )

Sum: This idea came about because Bunny (you know who you are) e-mailed me. She's a fan from my previous parodies and I guess I just wanted all that popularity and hubbub back. I'm such a little leech… Anyway, the boys are tired of the same boring plot points and are willing to go to any extent (especially Heero) to get some inspiration (and to entertain you people and hopefully give you some new ideas, if you need the 'inspiration'). And it's all Heero's idea, too. Blame him. Yes. That's the idea.

Warnings: Yaoi. Yuri. Het mentioned, but I doubt there's anything big. Parody. My strange sense of humor. 

Dedication: (And my cousin says I don't have a guilty conscious…) This is dedicated to the best sister in the whole solar system and beyond: DT Maxwell. *hugs* Because I keep canceling the fics she likes. 

__

Ukyu, here we go!

::::::::::Variable Geometry:::::::

Case One: Living arrangements.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Heero Yuy, acclaimed pilot and one of the hottest Japanese men ever to walk the face of Earth and the colonies, sat on a couch.

It was a perfectly ordinary couch, too. Though the couch didn't like to think that. The couch wanted to be an individual. It was into equality, civil rights, and stuff like that. He was a very informed couch since the television he sat in front of was on most of the time.

See, Heero had no job. He sat around all day until some fan girl wanted to use him and his friends in stories. Some where good. Some were great in fact. He was proud to be a part of them. Though there were others he had his protests about, of which will not be mentioned here.

So, Heero sat on the couch, not doing anything, and the couch was complaining about the sore spot he had from Heero sitting there all the time. Though he liked Heero. He liked Heero a lot. The kid had a nice ass.

About the time Golden Girls came on, Duo Maxwell arrived. Duo lived in the same house with Heero, though neither of them could understand why. 

See, they weren't really lovers, though everyone thought they were. 

Duo thought Heero was asexual. Heero thought Duo was a nymphomaniac. They had a wonderful relationship.

This was the day it all changed, however.

Duo had a job. He was supporting Heero. And he hated it. He felt like a bread winner, and unless Heero started pumping out babies they had to get some new living arrangements. He was tired of sacrificing his pay so Heero could go out and spend $140.07 for a box set of some anime called _Maze: The Mega-Burst Space_!

And, er, stuff like that.

"Hey, Heero!" greeted Duo. Everyone liked Duo. He was young, attractive, cheerful, funny; just an all around great guy. 

Heero growled. He didn't like Duo. Duo knew how to push his buttons. He always found the damn red button, too. That was especially annoying.

"You've seen that episode before." Duo sat his coat on the rack and went to lean over the couch, so that Heero would have to pay attention to him. Little things like that bothered Heero greatly. His training had taught him to always pay attention to the little details. So, Duo knew that Heero had to pay attention to him, even if he was just standing there in his line of vision. 

It paid off.

"Duo, if you're bored, you can go and fix me something to eat," growled Heero once again. No one interrupted him and his quality time with the TV. And the couch too, of course. Some days he swore that the couch was feeling him up, but things like that were hard to tell, the couch was so sneaky.

"Oh, Lord, what would the great pilot Heero Yuy do without his roommate and personal love slave?!" Duo sighed, teasing.

Heero blushed. He was such a prude.

Duo laughed. "Actually, I need to talk to you about something."

"I'm not going to stop you," Heero grounded out. "Can't anyway. You just keep talking. Can't get you to stop. Why do you do that anyway? It's not like you have anything interesting to say."

Duo glared. "Since when do you talk so much?"

Heero threw the remote control at him. "That's it! I'm tired of being stereotyped as a cold-hearted, stick-up-his-ass superhero. I want everyone to know who I really am!!" He stood up on the couch, all puffed up and important. The couch cheered him on. Heero was heavy, but he could take the kid's weight. At least it wasn't Duo, that kid liked the bounce on him. One day, he'd bite his ankles for sure!

But couches don't have teeth. Such was his lot in life.

Duo stared at his insane friend coldly. "An asexual war veteran who's too busy writing dirty fan fiction to go out and get a job?"  


Heero glared. "No. A human being."

"Okay, Penguin, when are you going to start running for mayor?"

"Shut up!"

Duo stood up on the couch with him, bouncing slightly in his anger. The couch would have hit him if he could. The braided one was so annoying. "You think you have it so rough! Everyone treats me like a woman! It's all because of my braid!" He pulled his long, plaited hair over his shoulder and cuddled/fondled it. "My beautiful, beautiful hair. Daddy will protect you from the mean fangirls. Yes. You cute little thing, you." He kissed it, then let it fall behind his back again. "I'm a man, damn it! A man!"

Heero and Duo glared at each other for long moments. _Golden Girls _went on commercial. The couch was looking in the want ads - he had to get away from these crazy people.

"We're not going to start kissing, are we?" Heero asked suspiciously.

Duo made a face. "Eww. Hells no."  
  
"Good. Because I would kill you."

"Ha! Like that's such a threat."

Heero made up his mind. "Okay. Who have I sworn to kill that I haven't?"

"Relena -"

"Can't kill her, she's the leader of the free world."

"Zechs -"

"Hmm… I did kill him, but he came back."

"Quatre -"

"Okay." Heero jumped off the couch and headed for the door.

Duo Maxwell was a reasonably intelligent person. No matter what people said. He was a Gundam Pilot. His early education had been done in a Catholic church. After then, he'd been trained as a pilot, moving around from various schools. He had long ago shrugged off his street urchin life. 

But it did take a moment for him to realize exactly what Heero was doing.

"Oh, shit." He too jumped off the couch and went after his insane friend.

*

"Do you know how fast you were going?" asked the police officer.

"Only ninety," Heero replied. Duo slumped over in his seat beside him, embarrassed. 

So, Heero Yuy got his first speeding ticket.

As he drove away, he muttered, "I think that guy used to work for Oz…"

Duo shook his head. "You said the same thing about the grocer last week."

"I _know_ I saw that guy before."

"And about the guy at the pet shop, who you almost killed because he was checking a puppy's mouth."

"I have a thing about puppies, okay?!"

"Slow down, you're speeding again."

"I don't care, I have to kill Quatre!"

"Oi."

*

Rashid Kurama (I swear, that _is_ his name), the Manguanac who happened to have a name, walked into the living area where Quatre Raberba Winner sat drinking tea and eating cookies with Trowa Barton. Rashid had Heero slung over his shoulder, who was blushing furiously.

Duo walked into the room just as Rashid sat him down. "It's all your fault, you know. You got this crazy idea stuck in your head."

"I was just trying to be original!" Heero cried, face still scarlet.

"You fell into the floor trap, didn't you?" Quatre asked knowingly. "Trowa did too this morning. The Manguanacs are so paranoid these days." He stopped to sip his tea.

Trowa looked dejectedly at his cup. "What I wouldn't give for coffee…"

Duo laughed. "He sure did. The big idiot was coming over to kill you."

Trowa looked a little interested at that. Quatre sighed when Rashid pulled out his gun and aimed it at Heero.

"Rashid, it's alright, I can take care of myself." Disgusted with himself, he added, "If he does try anything, I'll put up my cute, adorable, and innocent act to win his heart again."

Heero blushed. "I hate all of you."

"So, why did he want to kill me?" Quatre asked Duo as the braided boy sat down next to him.

"I wanted to do something original," Heero explained for himself, glaring at Rashid. Rashid glared back before taking his cue from Quatre and leaving. 

"Original?" Quatre raised an eyebrow.

"Go out and get a job like the rest of us," Trowa muttered.

"That's what I say!" Duo exclaimed.

Heero rolled his eyes. "Everyone's against me."

Quatre sighed. "You want to do something _really_ original?"

Heero nodded. "I'm tired of being stuck with him -" He pointed at Duo, "as a roommate, I'm tired of being marked as some asshole with a larger stick up his ass than Aya Fujimiya-"

"Heero," Trowa said quietly, "no one has a stick up their ass that big."

"- And why are you here?" Heero asked him.

Trowa looked a little lost for a second. "I don't know…" He finally answered.

Quatre looked crestfallen.

Heero's eyes flashed red. "Okay, that's it! I'm tired of all this. It's the same thing every fic we go to. The same dribble after the next. I'm tired of it! I want something new! Something exciting."

"Let's go rent _Moulin Rouge _so he'll shut the hell up," Duo whispered.

"I want my own apartment, away from him." He paused to glare at Duo. Duo glared back. "I want the rights to my own love life." He wasn't surprised when the writers hiding in the vortex looked at him in shock. "I want some new inspiration!!!"

Quatre, Duo, and Trowa watched the ranting boy carefully. 

"Is that all?" Quatre asked.

"Yes!" cried the crazy boy.

"Well," said Quatre thoughtfully. "Just do something that no one would expect."

"Like…?" Heero hated cryptic answers. 

"Since this is a Yaoi fan fiction, why don't you take Relena out for dinner? And have fun." Quatre sipped his tea.

Duo and Trowa stared at the blonde in shock.

"Laurence of Arabia, are you nuts?" Duo cried. "That's handing him over to the enemy! I won't stand for it!"

"He won't sit for it, either," Trowa added, one green eye gleaming.

Duo glared at him and threw a teacup at him.

Quatre sighed. "That cost money, you know."

Heero nodded after a moments deliberation. "Alright. I'll do it."

"Huh?" Duo asked, looking at him with wide blue eyes. Or violet eyes. His eyes couldn't make up their minds what color they wanted to be.

Trowa sighed and got to his feet. "That's it, I'm going back to the circus." He brushed past Heero, going out the door. "Where people are sane!"

"Yeah, go stick your head in a lion's mouth or something!" Duo called after him. He never liked Trowa much. Reminded him too much of Heero, only he talked even less. And what was with that hair anyway?

Quatre looked crestfallen, yet again. Though everyone else was so caught up in their own troubles to notice. It was cute, though. His cuteness had many complaints about it, but refused to say anything because it was very defensive.

*

__

Some time later…

"So, this is your new place?" Duo asked, watching a cockroach scamper across the floor. He was about to step on it when Heero stopped him with a shout of alarm.

"Don't, that's my roommate, Fred!"

Duo looked at him as if he'd grown an extra head. The extra head grinned and made dirty remarks about his tight ass and long braid. 

"Fred?"

"Yeah."

Duo sighed and left the apartment. "You need professional help."

Heero frowned as he watched the door close. Fred made his way onto the counter and frowned also.

"What's wrong?" asked Fred.

"Does Relena count?"

"As professional? That nitwit? Listen, kid, I like you and all, but you need to get yourself a hooker or something. Send that little tramp to the curb!" Ms. Peacecraft had tried to kill poor Fred. Fred didn't like her at all.

Heero sighed and went to go watch _Maze_.

Fred found a beer bottle and some pretzels, then went to join him.

The new couch liked Heero too. For obvious reasons. Though she wasn't as bitchy as his old couch. She was nice and sweet and didn't feel him up. She was much too shy. She giggled when Heero burped. She didn't like Fred too much, but Fred was a nice friend to Heero, so she didn't try to squash him or anything.

*

Duo arrived home. He sat on the couch. The couch looked at him wryly, but didn't say anything.

Duo sighed. He turned on the TV. 

He wasn't surprised that it was still on Lifetime, which Heero had last had it on when he was watching _Golden Girls_. Before he had went crazy and stormed out. 

Duo wondered if he was going to come back for his things.

The couch felt sorry for Duo. The poor braided boy just didn't seem to realize his feelings. But then, it wouldn't be a proper Yaoi plotline unless at least one of the boys had hidden feelings and desires, the couch thought. It was horribly stereotypical, but highly effective. 

Duo laid down and watched some boring girly movie that didn't get interesting until he actually started paying attention. He ended up crying at the really sappy ending and looking around for the tissue.

He realized that Heero must have taken the tissue box.

Damn psychopathic fruitcake. He'd show him.

Duo fell asleep on the couch, mumbling off ways to kill Heero the next time he saw him. The couch pulled Duo into a tight embrace, murmuring comforting words. The couch missed Heero too. 

Maybe he would come back after the two boys figured things out.

One had to keep their hopes alive, or else what did they have to live for?

TBC. This is as far as I got before I decided to save my other ideas for other chapters…


	2. Stalker

__

Bunny - Clarysage's and Caroline's fics are some of the few I first read, and it was probably their fics that made me fall in love with 1x2. The fic you're thinking of is Clarysage's "Popcorn." Yes, it is a little like that. Though, I like to think of it more as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. One of my friends calls it a Postmodern Deconstruction something or other. =P It's all how you look at it. 

::::::::VICTOLY::::::

Case Two: The Stalker

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Trowa and Duo were over for tea at Quatre's again. Neither of them knew why, exactly. They didn't even like tea that much. It just seemed like a thing to do. 

"So, Heero's still on this 'original' kick of his?" Quatre asked, in a tone that told everyone he had two things on his mind: tea and how Trowa would look naked swimming in a large Disneyland ride cup of tea.

"He's even abandoned his project of rebuilding Wing Zero Custom from scratch!" Duo wailed. Not that he cared about Heero Yuy. No. Not at all. He hated the asshole.

Lying, stinking, backstabbing, tissue thief…

"And I noticed a few of my towels missing!" The Braided One continued on. "I feel like a motel that he spent the night in with a cheap hooker."

Trowa looked confused. "Relena's not cheap. Have you seen the size of her house?" His voice was soft and level, as always, which spoke that he was only thinking about two things; where he could get some coffee and how he could get away from Quatre.

Quatre sipped his tea again. "Relena-san's not a cheap hooker." Mischief flashed in his eyes for a brief second, which was quickly covered up by his sweet and innocent façade. "She's a bitch."

Trowa and Duo stared at the blonde, fair-skinned boy like he'd grown scales and a tale and had started hissing fire.

Quatre looked up, blinking owlishly.

"You just called Relena a…" Trowa tried to finish that, but his mind was in overdrive, unable to understand what had just happened.

Quatre smiled at him, a sweet smile that parted the clouds and some such nonsense that was supposed to win Trowa's heart but really wanted to send him running to the hills… "A bitch, now pass me the kettle please?"

Duo did so with a shaky hand. The two boys watched their friend refill his cup and sip, worshiping the taste as it swam down his throat.

Trowa and Duo looked at each other then back at Quatre.

Then, that evil, mischievous look was back in Quatre's eyes. His smile turned a little… twisted… "Well, if Heero gets to act original, so do I."

It was about that time, no time in particular, it just seemed like a good time, that Heero came over with Relena Peacecraft… or Darlian… or Whatever… in tow. 

Or rather, it was the other way around. Relena led Heero into the room, guiding him by the hand and sitting him down next to Duo on the large couch.

This couch was a big Yaoi fan, and started drooling profusely.

They got a good look at the "Perfect Soldier" whom, at the moment, looked like "The Perfect Village Idiot." Plainly put, he was shell-shocked. His jaw was hanging open at an odd angle, hitting the floor and his tongue looked a sickly color, like it had drunk cheap liquor all night and wanted to sit over the toilet right now. His eyes, definitely blue, were more emptier than usual.

Duo looked at Relena. She was a self-satisfied look on her somewhat attractive face. (1)

That led the one-tracked brain of Duo Maxwell to only one, because it was one-tracked you see, conclusion.

"EWWW!" He slapped Heero across the face. "You slept with her?! You son-of-a-bitch, I'll kill you! How could you do this to me? I hate you! Are you listening to me?" He looked around frantically, for anything he could use as a weapon, not noticing the bewildered look Heero gave him.

Relena blushed. "No, you have it all wrong -!"

"I doubt that, sister." Duo grabbed one of Quatre's violins off a shelf, walked back to Heero, and smacked him across the head with it.

"My poor violin!" Quatre wailed.

In the confusion that followed, Trowa pulled a flask of alcohol from his pocket, put his feet on the table, and sat back in a state of utter bliss to watch the show.

Duo dived for a vase, throwing that in the immobile Heero, and cried out with joy as glass, water, and flower smashed over the Japanese boy's head.

Relena and Quatre were both chasing after him, trying to get him to stop. Quatre because most of the stuff in his home was horribly expensive, and Relena because she was horribly embarrassed. 

Duo grabbed the tea set and threw every individual piece of china at Heero's head. Quatre wailed as if in pain. Trowa threw up a round of applause.

*

Someplace far away, but not so far away that it was another galaxy where they fought other wars in space, there was Wufei Chang.

See, Wufei still didn't like this peace idea.

Nope.

Not one lick of it.

Or a scratch for that matter.

He pulled the trigger out of his trench coat. He'd gotten to wearing a trench coat because it made him look mysterious and dangerous, and very nearly cool. Only nearly though. And he was wearing his hair loose because apparently it made him look nice. He pulled the trigger out of his trench coat and pressed the button.

And the button didn't make the base go boom.

Wufei's black eyes flew open in wide disbelief, then he began pushing the trigger repeatedly.

Still nothing happened.

"SHIT!"

Though the base was horribly grateful that it was not going to go boom.

*

Heero had gotten tired of having his "best friend" throwing various objects at him and had decided to use his superior strength to grab him and tie him down into a chair. With a lot of rope he got Lord-knows-where.

"Are you ready to listen now?" he asked the seething ex-pilot.

Duo was frothing saliva, drops cascading the corners of his mouth. His eyes were bloodshot and one could say looking into them made them think they were looking at the very Devil…

Heero rolled his eyes. "We could take you to the vet, but at this point I'm pretty sure he'd say we had to put you to sleep."

Duo swallowed his drool. "Okay, what?"

Relena stepped forward. "I'm sorry for leading you to the wrong conclusion, Duo. See, Heero and I didn't sleep together. We just got back on our date and he wanted to be brought here after I told him… well…"

Heero had that blank look in his eyes again. "She doesn't like me."

"How was I supposed to know?" Relena cried at him angrily. "You never talk to me and you're always running away! How am I supposed to get to know you and see if I like you or not if you do that?"

Duo stared at her with much the same expression that Heero had had earlier. Though he looked more like the Village Idiot because of the slobber on his face.

Quatre walked back into the room then, armed with a fresh tea set. "What did you learn about our Heero, then, Relena, that made you decide you didn't like him after all? Trowa, stop trying to climb out the window."

Trowa fell back into the room from where he had been perched on the railing. "Shit…"

Relena sighed. "He's the most boring person I've ever met. Sure, he could kill people with his pinky finger, but he's virtually got nothing else going for him. He knows nothing about the current news, he doesn't have interesting things to say outside a war room, and… He's a fanboy to a show I've never heard of… and kept talking about this Gorgeous person who died naked and slept with his brother or something…"

Duo nodded. "Maze."

"Yeah, well, I just decided that we weren't right for each other at all." She looked at Heero pointedly. "And if he had stood still long enough, we could have done this a lot sooner and not have had to wait two years. I feel like some sort of stalker."

Quatre let out a cough, trying unsuccessfully to control his laughter. Trowa didn't bother covering it up at all, he just threw back his head and cackled.

Heero was still looking dazed.

Duo sighed and tried to meet his gaze, though that was kind of hard since Heero was looking away and _he_ was tied up. 

"Uh, Heero? Buddy? Pal? You're not mad about all the stuff I threw at you, right?"  


Heero blinked. He moved, hand flying out fast to grab Quatre's tea cup, and dumped the warm liquid all over Duo's head.

The boy cried out and Heero smiled sweetly with acid. 

"No, Duo, buddy, pal. I'm not mad at all."

He offered to walk Relena to her car and the two left the room. 

Quatre picked up his cup and refilled it, sipping ecstatically. "Well, we tried to tell you… Trowa, put that down."

Trowa had been trying to sneak up on him and hit him over the head with a brick. He sighed, dropped it, and it landed on his foot. He jumped around in pain while the brick pointed and laughed at him.

Duo and Quatre didn't even give him a glance.

"So, can I be untied now?" Duo asked.

"No, I'm in a kinky mood today," Quatre responded smoothly.

Duo amethyst/purple/blue/rainbow colored eyes got horribly wide. Trowa was trying to hang himself with the curtains, but it wasn't strong enough and fell off, Trowa falling with it.

Just then, Wufei walked in. 

"Fei! My hero! Not my Heero, my hero, oh… I hate that joke _so_ much - anyway, can you get me untied? Please?" Duo batted his eyelashes, pleading.

Wufei walked all the way into the room silently, saw Trowa in a mess on the floor, Duo tied up and looking like a lost puppy, and Quatre looking like Satan. 

"Feeling kinky today, Quatre?" he asked finally.

Quatre smirked ever so slightly.

"You devil." Wufei poured himself a cup of tea.

*

"Zechs… I don't know how to say this, but…" Noin took a deep breath. "I'm leaving you for Sally Po!"

The tall blonde man blinked for several times. Then his eyes settled on hers, astonished. "Huh?"

"You heard me." Noin stood firm. Behind the corner, Sally stood silently worried and waiting for her lover so they could quickly leave.

Zechs thought about many things in that moment. Many things that would have astonished the many of us who would prefer it if Zechs was just another dumb blonde. Yes. A tall, cute, dumb blonde that we could coax into posing nude for us - Oh, wait, where was I? Sorry. Lost my train there for a minute. Okay, Zechs was thinking about a lot of different things. Finally, he settled on one in particular.

"Can I get pictures?"

Noin slapped him.

Never mind. Zechs is now and forever more a dumb blonde.

*

Heero came back into the room. Trowa was lifting up a small sofa and was going to smash Quatre over the head with it. Quatre sat beside Wufei and the two were drinking tea placidly. Duo was hunched over in his seat, still tied up.

Wufei turned his head slightly. "Barton, get over your stupid cooties and deal with the fact that what you are feeling is not anger toward Quatre, but unquestionable and undeniable lust which won't even be sated even after a night of hot, passionate love-making."

Trowa stood, transfixed by what the Chinese boy had just told him. After a second his hold on the sofa slackened and it dropped on his head. He fell to the floor, unconscious.

"He needs to sleep it off," Wufei informed Quatre, sipping his tea.

Quatre nodded. "I know. I've been dealing with it for years now." He sipped his tea.

Duo was mumbling something along the lines of, "All these sipping sounds are driving me nuts… I think I see stars… The birdies are singing… La la…"

Heero turned on his heel and left for that day. 

*

Fred looked up from the TV and his beer to watch Heero walk into the apartment. 

"The couch has been worried about you," Fred informed him.

"Ah." Heero took off to his room, closing the door behind him.

Fred turned to the couch. "Do you think a princess like him could go for a guy like me?"

"You're a cockroach," the couch told him.

"I know. But he's on the rebound since his hooker left him."

"That's petty. Besides, that braided boy looked like he had claws in him already."

Fred sighed and drank his beer. "All the cute ones are always taken."

Heero pulled a piece of glass out of his head, cursed Duo, and went to the bathroom to bandage his wounds. The toilet hooted and hollered in his direction, but he paid it no mind. No one should ever pay real attention to their toilet. That's just too weird.

If only Quatre wasn't so fond of Duo, maybe he could kill him…

*

The couch in Duo's house sighed. The TV wasn't on. He missed Heero.

He couldn't bear to watch it without him.

Then, the telephone ringed.

The couch jumped up and got it. "Hello, Maxwell-Yuy residence, no they are not married… uh, wait, it's just Maxwell now, Yuy moved out… Anyway, I'm their couch, even though Heero's gone and left me behind. Who's speaking?"

"It's me, couch."

The couch's heart skipped a beat, and swelled with warmth and love. "Heero!"

On the other line, Heero laughed slightly. "Hey, you. I thought I'd give you a call. Is… is _he_ there?"

"No. And did you know that if you start talking to inanimate objects in your sleep," the couch asked, "it might mean that you're crazy?"

With that, Heero woke from his dream, sitting up like a shot, his skin soaked in sweat.

He ran a hand threw his hair. "I'm not crazy… I'm not."

*

The couch in Duo's house hung up the phone sadly and returned to his silent vigil in front of the TV. Silently, he wept.

*

Heero sat back in the bed, trying to keep himself from shaking and finding that he couldn't. "I'm not crazy, I'm not…"

Fred knocked on his door. "Hey, kid, you alright in there?"

"I'm not crazy and I do NOT have a cockroach for a roommate…"

Fred sighed. "Okay, kid, whatever you say. When you come out let me know and I'll fix ya something to eat, okay?"

"Okay…"

He heard the silent patter along the floor that told him that Fred was walking back to the living room. Where his beer and the TV and the couch were waiting.

Heero sighed. "I'm not crazy."

"The first step to recovery is admitting the problem," his bed told him.

"AHHHH!" He screamed, jumped up, and decided to sleep in the closet that night.

TBC… 

Yes, I know I'm crazy.

1. I like women. I like women a lot. As much as Relena irritates me… sometimes she don't look so bad. Like, in EW. *hides a smile* Go on with observing the men. Shoo! Do not be witness to my embarrassment, you heathens!


	3. Holocabana

Wufei's New Look - I used to look at Ponderosa's fan art a whole lot. 'Nuff said.

::::::::Zergadisu:::::: _(Oh, and is anyone noticing these "Engrish" words? These are pure, 100% Engrish. Guaranteed.)_

Case Three: _I'm not crazy, I swear! _Or, _There's Something About Wufei_

::::::::::::::::::::::

"And another thing!" Heero was winding down on his long rant. None of his friends had ever heard him go on about one subject for so long now. It was going on three weeks. Duo needed to use the lavatory. 

Badly.

"I'm not crazy!" Heero shouted from his vintage point on the coffee table. The coffee table didn't know why that's what its name was. It had never seen a pot of coffee in its entire existence. 

Trowa was beginning to share his opinion. 

Much to his chagrin, he was beginning to enjoy Quatre's tea.

Such were the things of madness.

Little did he know the reason _why_ he liked the tea so much. He would never expect it from Quatre. Which was why he was getting away with it. The little devil.

The coffee table got fed up of Heero's dirty shoes on its furnished surface, and kicked him off.

"'We're all mad here'," Wufei recited, reading from the copy of _Alice in Wonderland_ in his lap. "'I'm mad, you're mad.'"

Heero glared at him. "_None_ of us are crazy."

"I like to say mildly eccentric," Quatre murmured over the rim of his tea.

"You're rich," Duo pointed out. "People call you eccentric to be polite and in the hopes you'll give them a large sum of money in your will."

"The rest of us aren't so lucky," Wufei added. "Duo is working with Hilde on that clean up project for the junkyard - A junkyard, people. I'm a Preventor and New York Cops get better pay than I do. Trowa works part-time at a circus. His big sister throws knives at him and he feeds the lions. That's it. And I'm not even going into Heero."

The Perfect Slob glared at the Chinese man.

Quatre sighed, took Heero's Glare, buttered it, then ate it. "Well, I offer you people money but you're too proud and untrusting to take it."

"We all suffer from extreme paranoia. Especially Duo." Wufei smirked at the braided American.

Duo glared at him. "Hey, just because I have a Caffeine problem in _Road Trip Arc_…"

"You have a problem in that fic, too, Wufei," Trowa said softly.

"He speaks!" Duo shouted.

"And what, pray tell, is _my_ problem? I thought I had a nice role in that one." Wufei asked, not a little snarky.

"It was revealed in a recent chapter that you're in love with Duo," Trowa explained, "and you don't do anything about it because you believe Heero and Duo are true soul mates."

Wufei and Duo looked at each other. Then they looked at Heero. 

Heero raised an eyebrow at them.

Wufei and Duo, unable to hold it in any more, fell over themselves laughing.

Through hiccups and tears, Duo managed, "My soul mate is Heero? Oh Lord! AHAHAHA!"

"Me? Secretly in love with Maxwell? That's a riot!" Wufei shouted.

Trowa calmly pointed at the two of them, holding onto each other while laughing. Wufei threw Duo off of him with alarm.

"Stay away from me, you Hentai!" he shouted.

"Me?" Duo yelped, picking himself off from the floor, where he'd landed near Heero's feet. "You were grabbing a feel, I know it! You're more of a Hentai than I am. All stoic men are secretly perverts." He nodded firmly in his belief.

"Who gave you that idea?" Heero asked.

Everyone looked at Heero pointedly.

"Oh shut up," he snapped.

Duo decided to take his chances then and made a beeline for the toilet…

*

__

Some time later…

Everyone still sat in Quatre's living room.

"So, _are _we crazy?" Duo asked.

Heero said, "No," at the same time Wufei said, "Yes."

"Well, I went crazy for a few episodes and almost got Trowa killed," Quatre remarked with sad blue eyes. For a moment Trowa began to drown in them before his caught himself, grabbed a vase, and smashed into his own head. Nobody paid him any mind.

"Heero, you've tried to blow yourself up on more than one occasion," Wufei pointed out.

"And succeeded once," Duo added.

"You were in a coma for months," Trowa remarked. "I should know, I was taking care of you. Then you woke up and encouraged me to blow _myself _up."

Heero slunk in his seat, pouting. Duo tried his hardest not to notice how cute that lower lip was… "You didn't have to agree, Barton."

Trowa shrugged. "Not to mention that Duo almost followed your example."

"Hey!" The braided one complained. 

"If it hadn't been deactivated." Wufei cast a suspicious look Heero's way. "I always wondered how you managed to never notice that, Duo."

Duo scratched at his sex toy hair. "Well, it just never came up. I mean, sure, after the first time Dr. G deactivated it, I made sure it _was_ working… But Howard worked on it after that, so maybe he switched it off again." He shrugged, getting tired of the subject.

Wufei smirked at Heero. Heero pretended to ignore him.

"And let's not forget that most of us have almost no qualms with killing a man," Wufei said. "How psychotic does a person have to be to get like that?"  


Quatre gave him a glare. "That's a low blow."

"No, you wanna see a low blow?" Duo asked, being smart. He turned to Heero and grinned but before he could do anything Heero glared at him balefully.

"Don't even think about it, braid boy."

Duo pouted. "Damn. You ruin all my fun."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Well, since this is going to turn into a large flirt session, I'm going to head off." Wufei rose from his seat and headed for the door. "Have fun, fledglings."

Duo and Heero glared at his back, but he was already gone.

*

Wufei sang "Those Were The Days" softly as he connected the fusses to the fireworks. With a grin and a gleaming look in his eyes, he stepped back and found the end of the fuse. Then lit it.

Each one of the fireworks exploded as the flame reached them, and Wufei sat back watching.

"Heh. Of course we're crazy."

A nearby house caught on fire. Wufei smirked as he noticed it was Lady Une's.

Une ran outside, screaming bloody murder, and carrying a large… something over her shoulder.

Curious, Wufei followed her, leaving his fireworks behind. The Hobbits found the rest of them and exploded and died. 

*

Quatre snapped his fingers suddenly, eyes glowing. "I know! I know who can settle this." He picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory.

"Who do you think he's calling?" Duo asked.

"Heero's psychiatrist?" Trowa asked, not a little drowsily. 

Heero shook his head. "No, he's dead, remember?"

Duo snickered. "Oh, yeah, that 'tragic accident.' I remember that." 

Heero smirked. Yeah, just smirked. A man of many words, our Heero Yuy. Pfft.

Quatre talked softly into the phone and hung up. "Okay, they'll be over in a minute."

"They?" Duo asked. "They who?"

Then, in a swirl of purple/violet/amethyst light that didn't originate in Duo's eyes but the like of which Gorgeous would be proud of, two girls appeared.

To some, these two are quite familiar. While to others they may be totally new. But to the boys, they knew these two especially well - for they were two fan girl authors. 

Two authors they had thought they'd escaped from long ago, in a valiant battle of wills and lawsuits and half-forgotten pay checks.

But here they were, back again. A short brunette girl wearing a white and brown bathrobe-like outfit and her companion, a slightly younger and taller girl with multi-colored hair and gleaming eyes. The brunette had a lightsaber in her hand (rainbow blade) and the multi-colored hair girl had a large, 6 ½ foot scythe in her hand, the blade three feet long. They both looked incredibly confused on why they were there. Their eyes fell on the boys and the boys' eyes fell upon them. They stared at each other for long moments. A tumbleweed, probably the same one before, that sadist, breezed by. (1)

"You!" the boys screamed.

The brunette, Chrissy, raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, us."

DT suddenly glared at the boys. "Okay, who's bright idea was it to call us out of the Holocabana?" (2)

Duo and Trowa point at Quatre.

"Gee, thanks guys," Quatre muttered.

DT sighed. "Well, Quatre, you're so cute I can't hold anything against you."

Quatre rolled his eyes. "I _know_."

"I've got things against you," Trowa said.

Quatre glomped him. "Thank you, Trowa!" Which at, Trowa fainted with the sheer shock.

Duo and Heero sweat dropped.

"I mean, Vhaid and I just wanted to do something before tonight's episode of _Hellfire Tonight _so when Onee-chan invited us to the Holocabana, we thought it was a great idea." DT suddenly looked around, confused. "Where _is _Vhaid, anyway?" (3)

Chrissy frowned. "Quatre pulled us out right when the giant raptors were going to attack…"

DT gasped. "Oh no! My beloved!" She snapped her fingers and was gone in another blur of violet smoke. Chrissy remained, coughing at the smoke. The smoke laughed continued to fill her lungs to spite her and give her cancer in a few years.

"It's just a game," Chrissy murmured, glaring balefully at nothing. "And it ain't like Vhaid can't take care of himself. He's the high ranking general in hell and head of security, fer cryin' out loud."

Duo blinked. "Huh? Who's Vhaid?"

Chrissy went over and hit him. "How could you not know who Vhaid is? He was at the last family reunion!"

Duo blinked again. "Oh, him! He seemed like a nice guy."

"Of course he is, or I wouldn't let him near my Imouto-chan." Chrissy nodded firmly to herself. "Well, I suppose I should go join them."

"Wait!" Quatre cried. "I have a question for you."

Chrissy sighed and deactivated her lightsaber. "Alright, but you guys owe me a beam canon after this one." No one took her away from her Holocabana without paying for it.

"Do you think we're crazy?" Quatre asked.

"Yes," answered the self insertion without thought.

"Wait, wait," Heero interjected. "How do you know?"

"That you're crazy?" Chrissy threw back her head and laughed. "Insanity is contagious, remember. You boys made me crazy, so I should know, shouldn't I?"

Heero made a face. "That doesn't prove a thing."

"Sure it does," Duo said.

Chrissy smiled and walked over to Heero, standing nose-to-nose with him. "You really want to know if you're crazy?"

Heero nodded mutely, looking squeamish at her invading his personal space.

Chrissy reached into her robes and pulled out a plushie of Woman Maze. Heero's eyes gleamed and he reached out with grabbing hands.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!" he cried.

The SI threw the doll up in the air and watched as Heero made a dive to get it, falling off the end of the couch and onto the floor. But he was too happy about his plushie to care.

Chrissy smiled triumphantly. "See? Crazy." She snapped her fingers and was gone with more of that smoke.

*

__

Even later…

When Trowa next woke up, his head was pounding and a football team was practicing for their next game in his head. He sat up dizzily, only to realize he couldn't sit up.

It took him few moments to realize he was strapped down.

It took him another few moments to realize he was strapped down to a bed.

It took him even more few moments to realize who's bed he was strapped to. And ladies, it wasn't his own.

It was about that time that he realized he was naked.

He heard a giggle off to the side, and turned to see Quatre.

A naked Quatre.

A naked Quatre holding a whip.

A naked Quatre, holding a whip, and grinning at him with a LOOK in his eyes.

Then, he screamed.

*

1. If anyone remembers Parody From Hell, you know I love popping up in my own fics and dragging my little sister along for the ride. We don't have big parts, but we do show up from time to time.

2. The Holocabana, of MST fame. I forget who originated it, if someone does please tell me. It's a game that shows up in most MSTs these days at least once, it synthesizes reality for the players. It can have multiple players too, there's no limit what you can do. You can do anything, from fighting giant monsters with big guns to playing James Bond. =P

3. DT did her own spoof now. _Hell finally has its own news show, hosted by the Devil herself. Hopefully the only thing these guys will have to deal with will be the weather ferret's worshippers... _Look for Neon Genesis Evangelion and Cardcaptor Sakura references. Check it out and tell her she's great, or I will smite you all. Muhahahahaha! Look in my profile for the link.

TBC. Please review. And CHECK OUT DT'S FIC! DAMN YOU!!


	4. Talk about nothing

__

DT: The bubonic plague is still going strong, with more than 500,000 residents of the Lower Region quadrant of Hell suffering in hospitals. [Sighs] Didn't you people listen to me last night? GET THE DAMNED SHOTS. Again, it isn't worth going through immense pain and suffering with huge boils in your groin is you aren't going to die. Hopefully tomorrow night I can report that there are less cases of the plague and that more people have been getting the vaccine. Otherwise I'm going to be mad. [Holds up her scythe threateningly] - Episode Three, Hellfire Tonight

Just a friendly reminder for you all to check out Hellfire Tonight. The link is in my profile, unless you're reading this on GW Universe - if you are, it was in the previous chapter. UPDATE: Episode Four is up and running as of today. Check it out, or face my wrath. *smirk*

Case Four: _We Can Make Him Bigger, Stronger, Faster..._

:::::::::::::::::::Randing Gear:::::::::::::::::::::

"I've got it!" Heero shouted suddenly, running out of his room and surprising a half-asleep Fred and couch.

"Got what?" Fred the cockroach asked.

Heero had a maniacal gleam in his eyes. Looking into those Prussian blue eyes would make anyone and everyone quite sure that the Perfect Psycho had finally gone off his rocker.

"I've got the perfect way to be original." Heero pulled his gun out of the closet, loaded it, stuck it into the back of his spandex shorts - 

"Wait a second." Heero glared at his shorts. "These are definitely not original, are they?"

Fred shook his head silently, raising an antennae in the same manner as one would raising an eyebrow.

Heero pulled off his shorts, giving the perverted roach and couch something to keep themselves occupied for the next few hours, went back into his room and pulled on some quite ordinary sweat pants that made his butt look big. 

"Well?" He came back out and asked the roach and couch, who were both slack jawed and drooling over what they had seen mere moments before.

"What?" Fred asked, blinking.

Heero nodded to himself, stuck his gun into his pants, then headed out the door.

The couch suddenly frowned. "What do you think he's up to?"  


Fred shrugged, both of his antennae raised.

*

Hilde was a brilliant girl and had a definite mind of her own. So Duo could not convince her to go on a date with him so people would stop thinking he was gay.

Well, it wasn't the gay part that bothered him too much, because, well… It was the Heero part of the whole equation that did it. 

He was always too angry at Heero to want a relationship.

Heero frustrated him more than any other human being alive. (1)

And people thought Duo was annoying because he was a chatterbox! 

He wasn't a chatterbox. Slightly crazy and a little hyper at times, but not a chatterbox. Why did people think that? Where did they get that idea? (2)

Besides, if he didn't talk, all the other ex-pilots wouldn't. He, and Quatre, were the ones that got all of them together after all. Especially Quatre, but Duo didn't want to give him all the credit. 

"Come on, Hilde!"

"No is no, Duo," said the quite pretty girl with short blue hair. "You know that Cathy and I have an understanding." (3)

Duo scratched his head. "Something like 'If you date anyone other than me, I will kill them and hold you responsible.'"

Hilde nodded. "Yup."

Duo rolled his eyes. "Only the sister of Trowa Barton would say stuff like that."

Hilde glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Duo, nervously, backed away from the advancing girl. "Nothing! I swear!"

"Good." Hilde smirked, going back to her work and not noticing the boy who walked into the shop just then.

"Duo," said a nasal voice next to his ear. Duo jumped, not having noticed Heero walk in.

"Don't scare me, you psycho!" he complained.

Heero grabbed Duo's wrist in a vice grip. "Come on, I have a new idea."

Duo stared at him. "You're nuts, you know that? What's your idea this time?"

Heero grinned, eyes still lustrous. "Just come on, we've got to go pick up Quatre and Trowa."

He pulled Duo from the store and Hilde watched after them, smirking all the while.

"I wonder when they're going to figure it out…" She mused.

*

They got out of the car and followed Heero through the cemetery.

"What on Earth and the colonies are we doing here?" Trowa asked.

Quatre looked inquiringly at Duo. "Yes, you and Heero didn't tell us much on the way over here."

Duo shrugged. "He's got a new idea for being original, that's all he told me."

"So that's why he was laughing all the way here," Trowa mused. "Let's not let him drive anymore."

"I second the motion," Quatre agreed.

Heero suddenly stopped in front of one gravestone in particular after searching for it for a few moments. His eyes had deadly intent. The other pilots came closer so they could see who's grave it was their friend was standing on.

"Doctor J?!" The boys exclaimed.

Heero gave them a withering look. "Who else?"

"Oh Lord," Duo complained, slightly worried. "What are you gonna do?"  
  
"Something I've always wanted to do," Heero explained. "This is the bastard responsible for everyone writing me as just a cold-hearted, emotionless bastard. It's all his fault. Now that he's dead, I can't make him pay. This is my only option."

Heero turned from them and the three other boys heard the sound as he unzipped his pants.

The three gawked.

"Heero…" Quatre murmured.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Duo demanded. This was a place of mourning, Heero had no right to…

"I'm going to piss on his grave, that's what I'm going to do!" Heero shouted at them. 

Trowa suddenly started laughing. "I can't believe he's actually going to -"

"Don't talk, don't talk, you'll make it crawl back up," Heero told them.

Trowa started laughing even harder when he heard… the sound of "water" landing on the grass.

Just then, a caretaker was walking past and saw them. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"  


Trowa laughed even harder.

*

Wufei pulled out his gun and surprised Une. "Okay, woman. What are you doing here? And what was that thing you were carrying?"  


It was cave, somewhere. Une had candles and other assorted nonsense one used to bring people back from the dead with. Hell, she even had a dead cat, but that was for… something else.

Une uncovered the object in question and Wufei balked.

"Treize?!"

Une nodded. "Yes. I'm bringing him back to life."

"Woman! He's decomposing! That's so disgusting!"

Une glared at him. "I can fix it. Haven't you ever seen The Mummy?"

"Everyone one has, but that's no excuse to -"

"I need your help, Wufei."

Wufei stopped and stared at her. "For what?"

Une sighed and motioned at the body.

"You think I'm going to help you -" Wufei demanded angrily.

"He loved you."

And with those words, something that had been in Wufei's mind and heart for the past two years, locked away and hidden from himself, suddenly came unlocked and he knew it for what it was.

And he fainted.

*

They had managed to convince the police that Heero was having a mental breakdown, so he wasn't arrested.

"Heero, that was the stupidest -" Duo began.

" - Funniest thing I've ever seen!" Trowa was still laughing about it.

Quatre sighed and gave him some coffee. "Calm down, dear."

Trowa took the coffee in his hand and stared at it. A light shined down from heaven - or from Apollo, take your pick - onto the cup of coffee. His eyes, even the one covered by his uni-bang, welled up with tears.

"Oh, Quatre," he breathed. "It's really coffee."

Quatre nodded, sipping his tea.

"This is the best present anyone's ever given me." Trowa hugged his coffee happily.

Quatre snickered. "And here I thought last night was pretty good."

Heero and Duo stared at Trowa spilt his coffee all over himself.

*

TBC. Yeah, I know today's episode was short and pointless. Give me a break. 

1. Watch the show. This is actually quite true. Nobody seems to be able to annoy Duo more than Heero. 

2. Denial. Duo isn't as bad as we like to make him out to be, but he does talk quite a bit… Enough that would annoy Heero at least.

3. Has anyone seen this pairing? Hilde and Catherine look great together, I swear… *blushes* Oh, don't mind me. Go on, back to the boys. *whispers* But if you have seen it, let me know, will ya?

Oh, and read DT's parody. NOW!


	5. The Omake

Usually I would use this space to advertise DT's fic, but unfortunately it has been brought to my attention that a dear friend of mine is in need and I want to help her out. Anyone that doesn't agree with what she's trying to do can go to hell for all I care. I could name many people who I know have insulted her and I think you (if you're reading this) should be ashamed of yourselves and for encouraging others to follow your behavior. Some people just need to grow up and learn how to follow the rules that Xing has given us. 

We may not like the no NC-17 rule, hells knows I don't, but it's no right to start some half-assed rebellion.

Teenage rebellion is all fine and dandy, but please find something worth rebelling about. Not this. Believe me, I'm a teenager and I signed that petition a year ago, but the rules are still here, and it's time we all moved on. There are plenty of other places to post NC-17, you don't need to post them on here.

If anyone is insulted by this, I'm sorry. Unless you happen to have insulted Vindictive, then I'm not. I hope you get mad at me too. See if I care. 

Thank you.

OMAKE: The Special Case.

::::::::::: Xerrosu :::::::::::

And in this world of many ups and downs, more downs some of the time, everything comes to a screeching halt as the members of this assorted cast are assembled.

A lot of them have just woken up. A lot of them didn't even bother to show up, since they haven't actually taken residence in the house inside the fan fic author's brain, so they don't feel obligated to. And they're not, so however isn't there won't get into trouble. Chrissy Sky seems to be mad at a few other things at the moment.

DT frowned. "This is like when you got those flames for Parody From Hell, isn't it?"

"This is much worse," murmured her sister, who was huddled underneath a Sith-like cloak for this occasion. "Much, much worse."

Trowa, while in a half-asleep haze, knocked over the coffeemaker, and screamed. Quatre smirked over the rim of his teacup.

DT patted Quatre on the head then went to see what her sister was huddled over. "Nee-chan, mind me asking what this is about?"

"That's what we all want to know, woman," Wufei complained, swatting at Treize with a rolled up newspaper. Treize is wearing a pair of antennae, like Fred's. Fred probably doesn't mind since he's not there and can't see it.

Chrissy looked up at them suddenly, eyes bloodshot. 

They all made faces at her, of various shock and disgust. 

"Chrissy, maybe you should have gotten more sleep last night," Quatre said thoughtfully.

"Nee-chan, you look miserable," DT added.

"You look grotesque," Wufei said. DT hit him.

"Where's Heero and Duo?" Trowa murmured, coming into the room also. 

DT shrugged. "Maybe they're getting reacquainted with each other. How should I know?"

"You're the other author of this," Wufei pointed out. He was still swatting at Treize.

"Not really. I just help Nee-chan out when she needs it." DT glared at him. 

Just then, Heero ran into the room, chased by a haggard looking Zechs, who was being chased by a psychotic looking Duo. 

DT's lips twitched. "Random Ranma ½ moment."

"Yeah," Trowa agreed, still sulking over his coffee that never was.

Quatre still looked rather happy about that.

"See, I was talking to a friend of mine, because we're working on something together, and if I say what people will know the true identity of said friend, so I'll try to be as anonymous as I can be," Chrissy said, then took a deep breath before she continued. Hopefully with a few more periods. "So, we were talking right? Then I saw how people were treating her when she reported people's fics."

"Reporting fics?" Quatre asked.

"On ff.net you mean?" Wufei asked, now interesting but still hitting Treize from time to time. 

Chrissy nodded. "Yeah. People are posting NC-17 under R. So, when she finds them she reports them. And people actually think she's in the wrong!"

DT frowned again. "Well, isn't she being kind of a tattletale doing that?"

"If she doesn't, and if people continue posting lemons on here that shouldn't be, then Xing might get in trouble again and ff.net might be made a paying members-only site. She's doing the right thing."

"Who says it's the right thing?" Trowa asked, still a little lost over his coffee and not paying attention.

Chrissy sighed. "Okay, NC-17 fics are not allowed. R is, and I know that, but there's a fine line between foreplay and soft-core porn. The Harry Potter section is a good example of this."

Wufei irked. "Harry Potter porn?!" he managed between coughs. 

DT nodded. "Not as extraordinary as you make it seem. It's gotten so popular that JK Rowling herself found HP fan fics. Even NC-17 ones, or so I've heard. She was angry and wanted them removed, for the sake of younger fans of her books. You have to see where people are coming from; they're adults with children and they want to protect those children. That is why those new rules are up. Well, maybe not all of them, but definitely the one about NC-17 fics. Xing doesn't want to be sued because kids are reading porn on his site. That's all there is to it."

Chrissy nodded vehemently in agreement, hair moving along in accordance to the movement. "My friend, Vindictive, is just trying to do the right thing and I really, really don't appreciate some of the responses she's getting. People are calling her a hypocrite. They don't even know what a hypocrite means! If she were a hypocrite she would have NC-17 fics posted on ff.net. I know for a fact that she doesn't! So she's not a hypocrite. They don't even know her and they're attacking _her! _She's just trying to get people to follow the rules, for the common good of us all."

"How's she handling it?" DT asked, patting Chrissy on the shoulder to try and calm her down. When her sister got started on these tirades it was hard to bring her back to Earth.

"She's cool about it, actually," Chrissy said, calming down slightly. "She told me to laugh about it and not worry about it." She glared at the floor then. "It's hard to ignore it though when it's a good friend who's getting flamed just because she's trying to do the right thing. So what if she's telling on people? They're breaking the rules!"

"And you're just an outstanding citizen," Wufei spat.

Chrissy waved a hand. "I _do _get carried away sometimes, but I've never gone that far. I love rebellion as much as the next person, but it's a rule on here now. If we want to continue using the services of ff.net we have to follow the rules given to us. We're obligated, Xing pays for this out of his pocket. Even if we may be angry at him we can't break his rules. We just grow up and move on."

"Are there any other places to post NC-17 fics?" Quatre asked.

"Tons!" Chrissy told him. "A good site that I moved to is Gundam Wing Universe, which allows NC-17 and has sections not only for GW but for Harry Potter and other Anime. And they have separate sections for Yaoi and Het, which I think is just awesome. You're guaranteed not to get any flames!" (1)

"That's cool," DT agreed.

"Fandomination, AdultFanFiction; a long story short," Chrissy concluded, "if you really want to write an NC-17 fic, go ahead, but don't try to play innocent and say it's not really a lemon, because I for one will tell you a lot of people do that. And it's not right for the rest of us who are following the rules. The MST3k section was removed because people weren't asking permission to mst fics, and it was removed. I wasn't always asking permission, but due to these recent circumstances I am now obligated to, even if I don't post them on ff.net." Damn her guilty conscious. 

"Can we go now?" Wufei asked.

Chrissy nodded, climbing onto the couch to take a nap. "Yeah, sure, do what you want."

"Awesome," Treize said, and jumped onto the struggling Wufei.

"That's not what I mean!" Wufei cried, finding his newspaper useless.

If you find an NC-17 fic on FF.Net, I'm not asking you to report it. But I'm asking you to think long and hard about what I've said and make up your own minds about what's right and what's wrong. If you know what Vindictive is trying to do and don't agree with it, that's your own problem. If you have an NC-17 fic on this site, just know that it may or may not be reported, then removed. Then you'll get mad, and then what? Why's it so important to have a lemon on a site that doesn't allow them? Why is it important to get so angry about? Vindictive is just trying to do the right thing, and personally I don't see that she's wrong. 

A link to her profile will be up in my own profile if you want further details. (Since I know I'm bad a them.)

1. I believe the link is in my profile. Go look if you're interested. 

Note: This was written at 2 AM. Forgive the grammar. I'm going on a trip to Nevada in the morning and I should go to bed RIGHT NOW. =P


End file.
